how to refrain from verbally stabbing customer service reps.

First things first: My blog has moved! I am now at You can head over there or follow me on bloglovin’ here. I’ll post on both locations for a little while but make sure you change your feeds or bookmarks so you don’t lose your daily dose of my awkward self! 

Can I just preface this by saying that on a scale of 1 to 10, my BS tolerance is like a negative twelve? Like no patience.

So I’ve been working on switching over to self-hosted wordpress and I’d been working on it all day yesterday and things were looking pretty good. And then my blog crashed. Everywhere I would click, there was some sort of error. No worries, I told my little brain monster who was ready to pitch a fit, you can just talk to customer service. But oh. my. goodness. I just couldn’t take it. After talking to the lady for almost two hours, it was 2:30 am and I was about to verbally stab someone stat

But apparently it’s bad to verbally stab someone, so I went through my list of how to stay call me when the BS levels are tipping the scale. To avoid any one else getting verbally stabbed, I’m sharing them with you.

Take ten deep breaths. Cliche, I know. But for a good reason. It really does calm you down. Plus if you can have a little fun and pretend to be Darth Vader, you might get a little giggle out of yourself because you’re just that funny. And if you giggle, then you’re a little less likely to verbally stab someone.

Think happy thoughts. Like puppies and dramatic llamas. And remember, it could be worse. At least you’re not a customer service rep. (And if you are, I’m so sorry.)

Do something else. I picked up my gratitude journal and straight up stared at it for a minute like I am freaking not grateful right now. But then I remembered that I am, and I felt better.

And can I just say heaps of thanks to Jason at PassionfruitAds? I know you all know this but he’s literally the best thing to hit the internet. ever. He helped me not hurt any poor customer service reps.

Just remember, anger is like drinking poison and wanting your enemy to die. Or some dark metaphor like that. I think Oprah said that.

Anyways, no stabbing today, verbally or otherwise.

Over and out.




Reasons why I suck at blogging + 3 ladies who don’t

Honest to blog…

Here in the blogging world, it’s easy to feel like I don’t measure up because I’m not just like other bloggers. It’s a weird comparison–blogging is all about being yourself, but there’s a big pressure to be just like bigger, more popular blogs. It is tough sometimes, but I’ve learned that it’s good to blog about things that are different than other people. I may have less readers but those readers know they can’t find a blog just like mine anywhere else. And yes, this is more than slightly tongue-in-cheek.

So here are four reasons why I suck at blogging, followed by a few ladies who don’t suck at blogging. 

1. I don’t make DIYs all the time. If you’ve been around here long enough, you know that I made one diy, once–envelopes made out of magazine pages. That took about ten minutes. I don’t sew my own clothes, much less publish pictures and patterns for them. And I don’t make all the decorations for my house out of mason jars, god forbid.

Anne makes, well, everything. Especially this finger-knit love pillow.

2. I don’t take beautiful pictures of my food. Come to think of it, no food that I make ever looks beautiful. Let’s just say that I’ve lit toast on fire before and put silverware in the microwave more times than I care to admit.

Amanda K by the Bay makes ice cream, every Sunday. Most recently, Kahlua Chocolate Chunk with Caramel Swirls!

3. I don’t take pictures of my outfits. It’s not that I don’t dress cute, I just can’t figure out how to (a) take pictures of myself using just an iPhone or (b) not be awkward in pictures. (Side note: I really would like to start posting pictures, because you know, I have great style and all. Anyone have advice for doing it on an iPhone/without a photographer?)

Jessica at Jeans and a Teacup, looking adorbs, as always.


4. Also, I don’t even have a camera (other than my iPhone), so I can’t post pretty pictures of every single thing I do. I use stock pictures or things from Pinterest, but they’re rarely my own. (This is the one exception when I took pictures.)  For any of you bloggers who also are not too camera-handy, here’s a great source for pretty stock pictures! Also, Flickr’s creative commons are great too.

What makes you different than other bloggers–why do you “suck” at typical blogging? Any tips for me to on reason number 3? 

Sponsor me + stuff like that

This blog has been growing faster than I could have imagined. In the last month, the number of my readers has grown by 517%. (By the way, the word is quintupled. It sounds a little worrisome to say that my readers have quintupled. Is it just me or does that sound like they’ve contracted a terrible disease? Anyways, I promise you they are alive and well.) SO in response to this, I have decided to begin offering sponsorship spots on my blog. And don’t worry, I got perks for you.


As my blog has grown, I’ve been putting more and more of my own money into it, which makes offering sponsorship a logical choice. Call Me Sassafras will be a 100% Full Circle blog. This means that every penny earned from advertising on this blog goes back into improving the design of CMS and advertising on other blogs. In other words, your dollars are going the extra miles because when CMS gets more readers, your blog gets more readers.

Here’s why you should sponsor me:

  1. I’m cute.
  2. You love me.
  3. I got readers who like finding new blogs. (See stats on sponsorship page)
  4. It’s cheap. Since I’m just starting out, the first spaces bought in each size are on sale. $6 for the 250 x 250 and $3 for the 250 x 100. 
  5. I got perks. The big size gets a guest post/giveaway, spotlight post, lots of social media and more. The little size gets a spot in the group sponsor feature and lots of social media love.
  6. You’ll make an awesome friend (hint: me).

Interested in being my blog friend and growing your blog while you’re at it? Check out the new sponsorship page.